did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
His nipple licking is glorious
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