I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
