he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
