so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
zippers are such a cool invention
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize