I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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