Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
