and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
