I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I cut my penus on the lid.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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