So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
His nipple licking is glorious
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