Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize