Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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