Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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