Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
