She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
