Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
send nudes
from the living room?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
