Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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