I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize
