i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
there's paper in my vomit.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
