Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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