I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
