Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
