So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
