Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
