so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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