so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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