And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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