By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
