so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
