I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
