Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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