It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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