mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
