hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
