i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
