Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
