We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
