you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
send nudes
from the living room?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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