I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
