She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
