just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
