I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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