If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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