yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can't talk, ducks in the car
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
