I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
