So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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