i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
