Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
