Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
