He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You ruined the universe
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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