Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
