He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
