walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He did a backflip because drugs
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